Besides the limits of their couplers, there's another reason European freight trains are shorter/lighter than ours. Their railroads are optimized for passenger service, and the freight trains have to fit in between the passengers. Thus, they usually run at passenger train speeds. When the first railroads were built, they already had relatively high population densities, and there were a lot of people looking for a faster way to travel. Freight, on the other hand, wasn't that important, because all of the countries were more or less self sufficient.
Our system has long been optimized for freight service, with a few exceptions. Passenger trains may be faster than freights, and have priority, but there were relatively few of them, and the freight trains could take sidings to avoid delaying them. With the long distances, and relatively low population density, we carried a lot more freight than passengers, especially in the early years of railroads. That included raw materials from the frontier to developed areas, food from newly opened farmlands, and "exports" from the developed areas for developing the frontier.