Safety tips for minimizing Railwire danger:
1. Do not look directly into the Railwire without protective eyewear. If you must view the Railwire with unprotected eyes, try too look off to the side as frequently as possible.
2. Use of an athletic protective cup is highly encouraged.
3. Use of a helmet with a facial splash guard is also highly encouraged.
Railwire Gold Membership comes with additional safety features such as extra absorbent padding, a mouth guard, and roll bars.
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Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under ten should avoid prolonged exposure to The Railwire.
Caution: The Railwire may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
The Railwire contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use The Railwire on concrete.
Discontinue use of The Railwire if any of the following occurs:
-Itching
-Vertigo
-Dizziness
-Tingling in extremities
-Loss of balance or coordination
-Slurred speech
-Temporary blindness
-Profuse sweating
-Heart palpitations
If The Railwire begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
The Railwire may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, The Railwire should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of The Railwire of any and all liability.
Ingredients of The Railwire include an unknown glowing substance, which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
The Railwire has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt The Railwire.
The Railwire comes with a lifetime guarantee.
“Accept no substitutes!!”
